Aside from get-rich-quick schemes and adult site spam, nothing annoys me more than receiving those annoying chain mail letters telling me of all of the good luck I'll have if I annoy ten other people within ten minutes.

I always just send them right to the trash folder. And, as soon as I get out of the hospital, I'm going to do something about this perplexing situation (kidding).

So, what the hell. Let's have a little fun with these time-wasting losers. Simply copy and paste the following letter and send it back to the pepetrators of this superstitious dribble. Make sure you hit Control-D to bookmark this page, so you can always come back and copy it next time.

Dear Loser,

This letter is in response to the chain letter you recently sent me and redirects all of the impending bad luck and unfortunate circumstances back to the you, the sender.

Not only will you have to endure the bad luck being sent back to you, but as a result of the chain mail that you perpetrated, a small village of starving people in Indonesia will soon discover that not only is the food sent to them from humanitarian organizations spoiled, but that you are the one personally responsible for this happening.

Because valuable time will be wasted reading your unwanted, untargeted, unsolicited superstitious garbage you sent, a Tasmanian witchdoctor (who happens to have an email account) will place a voodoo curse on your life.

This email also releases the sender (me) from any and all ramifications claimed. This exemption is valid from now until the millennium after next.

Furthermore, whatever evil your chain mail claimed will be bestowed upon people who don't keep the chain going will be multiplied by 7.49% and shot right back at you.

All recipients of your chain mail who dump it into their trash file will receive all of the good fortune your silly email claimed they would receive if they annoyed other people by forwarding it to (soon to be former) friends and associates.

So, every time I receive a distasteful, chain letter from you or anyone else, good stuff happens to me and bad stuff happens to you. Ha ha ha ha ha ha!

Basically, this is like saying, "I'm rubber, you're glue. Whatever you say bounces off me and sticks to you."

Thank you. Now go get a life.



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