fighting terrorism

| Home | 2 Funny Productions | Click On Comedy | Video | Cell Phone Videos | Contact |

Laughing in the Face of Terrorism

The US government has a new website,, designed to assist citizens in dealing with terrorist emergencies. Or perhaps, just something to make fun of.
These are actual illustrations from the government web site.
The captions have been
changed to ridicule the innocent.

If you have set yourself on fire, do not run.

If you spot terrorism, blow your anti-terrorism whistle. If you are Vin Diesel, yell really loud.

If you spot a terrorist arrow, pin it against the wall with your shoulder.


If you are sprayed with an unknown substance, stand and think about it instead of seeing a doctor.

Use your flashlight to lift the walls right off of you!

The proper way to eliminate smallpox is to wash with soap, water and at least one(1) armless hand.

Michael Jackson is a terrorist. If you spot this smooth criminal with dead, dead eyes, run the fuck away.

Hurricanes, animal corpses and the biohazard symbol have a lot in common. Think about it.

Be on the lookout for terrorists with pinkeye and leprosy. Also, they tend to rub their hands together maniacally.

If a door is closed, karate chop it open.

If your building collapses, give yourself a blowjob while waiting to be rescued.

Try to absorb as much of the radiation as possible with your groin region. After 5 minutes and 12 seconds, however, you may become sterile.

After exposure to radiation it is important to consider that you may have mutated to gigantic dimensions: watch your head.

If you've become a radiation mutant with a deformed hand, remember to close the window. No one wants to see that shit.

-- If you hear the Backstreet Boys, Michael Bolton or Yanni on the radio, cower in the corner or run like hell.

If your lungs and stomach start talking, stand with your arms akimbo until they stop.

humor jokes
If you are trapped under falling debris, conserve oxygen by not farting.

humor sites
If you lose a contact lens during a chemical attack, do not stop to look for it.

Do not drive a stations wagon if a power pole is protruding from the hood.







-- A one-inch thick piece of plywood should be sufficient protection against radiation.

fortune telling bingo comedy spoof psychic funny web pages

dirty joke book funny jokes one liners dirty joke show las vegas

puns jokes humor comedy funny puns for the educated riddles mind benders

android tips apps watch tv shows on droid movies on smartphones blackberry windows

funny blog humorous writing satire parody comedy writer hilarious column articles

funny news stories parody satire humor comedy videos topical absurd news

funny food photos fruits vegetables hilarious pictures comedy humor fotos pics

funny videos reality tv movies amateur home movies video recorded on cell phones

brain teasers mind benders psychological tests funny psych test quizzes


This is a humor site from corporate comedian and stand up comic Gary Thison and is intended as one of many funny jokes and humor jokes. Funny jokes are sometimes tasteless, but that is true of all humor jokes I imagine. Funny jokes and humor jokes are in the eyes of the beholder and may not be as funny as found at other humor sites. Are they funny jokes? Maybe. Are they humor jokes? Perhaps. Is this one of those humor sites? Yes.